Last Sunday we took a group of people from my church up to the Real Life Exhibit. It was really good and I have heard great responses from people. This was my second trip the first time I went with a class from the college, it was the day the family left to go back to Japan and the civil war game Go Ducks! I am just going to share my response from the first trip...
First off let me apologize for not being more responsive, at the exhibit. I emotionally shut down, because I was overwhelmed. Seeing all the children in need broke my heart. All I wanted to do was go and hold them all and love on them. To protect them and let them know they were not alone. But I can’t because there are too many and they are on the other side of the world. Second that exhibit was absolutely amazing and I am going to try and take the college group and youth group from my church to go see it. I think it would be a great eye opening experience for many of them. Are church supports a Romanian orphanage but I don’t think anyone really understands what that means. Everyone is so used to the can being out there to collect money that nobody really gives it much thought.
When we first arrived and were waiting in the room with the blinking light, it was heart breaking. (The blinking light was to show how often a child died of a preventable disease) To be standing there waiting and yet having to watch that light and know that so many children were dyeing and there was no reason for them all to have to die. Then going through the exhibit and seeing how many children were helpless and in need, sometimes it was a natural disaster. But realizing how much of the time it was because of the people who should be protecting them, were instead taking advantage of them. Such as the children Soldiers, Romanian orphanages, refugee camps… I have studied children soldiers before so I was prepared for their stories and atrocities. It is still extremely evil and greatly upsets me, but it was something I was aware of. The same is true of the refugee camps, Dad has told me about them and I have also read about them. But the Romanian orphans I had never heard about. I was so shocked, how could someone be so evil that they would treat children in such a manner? My heart went out to the parents who were at the point that they thought one of these orphanages would be better for their child than being at home. That most have broken their hearts to leave them knowing they might not survive. Then the children themselves, being treated as property to be raised to fight, with no love or personal attention. It was so hard to see so much pain and need and yet know that I could not help.
Another area that really left an imprint in my mind and heart was the tsunami and Katrina. We lived in Texas when Katrina first hit, but for me it was more an issue of if it was going to affect my plans to move to Spokane. We had some extended family that lived there and I was vaguely worried about them, but it was more something to watch. I now look back and wonder how it was that I could not have been affected more at the time. I think the answer is I did not see a way to help so instead of engaging I ignored it or got caught up in the logistics of the situation.
When the Indonesian tsunami hit we lived in AK, and it was the middle of the holiday season. We received a phone call that Dad was going to be deployed to help. A mad scramble started where everyone was trying to get Dad ready, shots, equipment, clothing, Emergency response stuff… then they ended up not deploying the AK group. The general response from people including me I am afraid to admit was “well now we have wasted a couple of days of our holidays.” How, could I be so callous as to have been upset about losing a few hours with Dad when so many lost their dad, mother, brothers, sisters, friends…for the rest of their lives? As I was walking through that area reading the stories it brought my selfishness home to me.
As I look back on what I saw, thought, and felt while going through the exhibit. I realize that too often I do emotionally shut down or focus on trivial things, because I am overwhelmed by the need. I am a doer/fixer so to see such great need and not be able to do something or fix the need is really hard. I haven’t known how to respond so I trivialize the issue. But I know that, that is not helping anyone. Just because I can’t help everyone does not mean I can’t help one. So, first I have been challenged to engage in prayer for the issues, prayer should always be the first response and it can be more powerful than actually being able to go. Second, I want to start figuring out a way to raise a little extra money to send to people in need. Also I want to put together some help kits. What I don’t want to do is let myself not respond because I am overwhelmed by the need and my inability to fix it.